Thank You Lisa Purk for helping me to see things a little differently A Note from Lisa…
After several weeks (months???) of my own winter illness challenges and serious health issues of close family members, I was fatigued . I found myself frequently thinking ( ….saying….) “If I could just get some sleep I would feel so much better.”
But, was it sleep that I truly needed?
These past few months I was sick more often than I am accustomed to being. I wasn’t ill with anything serious – just your typical winter time flu and never-ending sinus infections. At the same time, another close family member was seriously ill and had three hospital stays stacked up within two months. Of course, there was the on-going day-to-day activities that don’t stop just because other things have invaded life.
As I began to feel better and healthier days began to return to all, I found myself, in a word, exhausted. I wanted sleep and extended hours of it.
Or did I?
Was I truly physically fatigued or was it more that I mentally tired? Was sleep what I needed? Or was it something else?
Could it be that what I most needed was rejuvenation?
Sometimes rest is needed and sometimes rejuvenation is what will prove to be most beneficial. But these are two very different things.
When you feel tired it is easy to think “I really need to get some sleep.” You get a good night’s rest and maybe even find time for a bonus nap but you still feel lethargic and lacking focus. You get more sleep but it doesn’t help. During these times, you might notice yourself trying to get some extra rest but find it difficult to even fall asleep.
When you find yourself in this type of “I just need some sleep” cycle, consider that it’s not sleep that will bring you the result you’re craving. Maybe it’s rejuvenation.
What’s the difference?
I believe that rest and sleep speak for themselves. But what about rejuvenation?
Rejuvenation is doing things that help you relax and re-energize. It is doing things that bring you a sense of calmness; a renewed spirit; and greater clarity of heart and mind. Rejuvenation is doing things you enjoy.
Some examples of rejuvenation activities include:
- Coffee or lunch with a friend
- Planting/tending your garden
- Watching a movie
- Attending a sporting event or concert
- Walking your dogs at your favorite park
- Picnic by a lake
- Biking and hiking
- Any hobby
In talking with my clients, I find they often sleep when what they really desire is rejuvenation. They want some down time.
But rejuvenation requires they give themselves permission for the activities. The lack of permission (i.e. guilt-free permission) is often what stands between them and truly re-energizing themselves body and mind; heart and soul.
It’s not rest they need. It’s permission to rejuvenate.
To truly rejuvenate and re-energize
you must first give yourself guilt-free permission to do so
I discovered for myself that it was indeed rejuvenation that I was craving. For me, I found it with some quiet hibernation and a good book plus a couple of lunches with good friends. I also upped my morning prayer and meditation time.
All an equation for rejuvenation.
Next time you find yourself “tired,” consider if you need sleep …. Or is it rejuvenation you’re craving.
Sleep won’t help when it’s rejuvenation you’re craving
“No one can be truly great until he has gained a knowledge of himself, a knowledge which can only be acquired by occasional retirement.”
~ Johann Georg von Zimmermann
Many times in life, we have all had the experience of interacting with a person who is not being kind; they’re not smiling – in fact, you might even say they’re “grumbling.” At that moment you’re not even sure they’re capable of smiling. This person is angry, impatient and disagreeable and these are their most obvious qualities. (“Well, their only qualities” you might think). This person seems unhappy with life and the simple fact that you’re their next encounter makes you, by default, their next target, too.
And … the last thing they are expecting is a friendly smile, kind words and someone who cares. It is also likely the last thing you feel like offering.
But that is exactly what I’m challenging you to offer this week.
Release the temptation to walk away mumbling about how unfriendly this person was acting. Refuse to call your close friend just to tell them about this person. Don’t get back in the car and tell your spouse or friend about this person’s nastiness. Don’t continue to talk about it two hours, four hours, or twenty-four hours later. And definitely don’t let this person and situation raise your own level of stress.
Instead, make it your intention to change the situation and intentionally create a new story.
Here’s a few things to try:
Smile and say “hi” first
Start a conversation
Ask them something about them and their day
Choose to see their perspective and understand what they might be feeling
Soften your voice and choose your words thoughtfully
When they are spewing negativity, take what they’re saying and offer a positive twist – purposefully change the tone of the conversation
Consider what else you can do to take a potentially stressful event and turn it around for everyone’s best…yours and theirs.
Be the person you want everyone else to be
Visit Lisa’s website at www.fuelyourinnerfire.com
Thank You Gail Rosenblum and Nancy Mramor power ball fever gone – got my vaccination early!
It’s fun to play the “what if?” game, to imagine a cloud-free existence of happiness, freedom and philanthropy. But why do we assume we can’t play that game unless Powerball swoops in?
I didn’t win the Powerball.
So goodbye, island with personal chef. Goodbye, voyage around the world.
Hello, children’s lingering student loans and a 30-year mortgage.
And hello, Monday morning.
I knew you’d be back.
Powerball does get us dreaming, doesn’t it?
That’s why I put money into the biggest lottery ever. The practical me knew I might as well unroll my window and throw a $20 bill into the icy 10-below air. But my friends were in a frenzy, willing to stand in line to buy me tickets. My workmates were selling dreams at their desk. People were kinder in traffic, too, or maybe I’m just making that up.
I get that it’s fun to play the “what if?” game, to imagine a cloud-free existence of happiness, freedom and philanthropy. What I don’t get is why we assume we can’t play that game unless Powerball swoops in to get the party started.
Robyn Green sees this inertia all the time. She calls it “when/then, if/then” thinking. As in, when I win the lottery, my life will start.
“They think, ‘When this happens, I will be happy.’ ‘When I get married, I will feel worthy.’ ‘If I hadn’t been laid off, I wouldn’t be depressed,’ ” said Green, a Minneapolis-based life coach. “People are outsourcing their happiness.
on external factors (Powerball, an ex, a job) and more on internal personal awareness. Her first exercise with new clients is to ask them to tell her their story.
How they tell the story of who they are, and who they once were, typically reveals limits they’ve placed on themselves and assumptions they’ve made that are keeping them stuck.
“Everyone’s talking about Powerball, but the odds are not in our favor,” Green said. “So what is?”
She worked with one man who took early retirement, then felt at a loss about what to do with himself. He thought Green would give him job coaching, including career aptitude tests he could take to help him figure out what to do next.
Instead, she helped him see that he wasn’t happy because he’d always done what others, his father in particular, thought he should do. He went on to a second career volunteering, filled to the brim with a sense of purpose and value.
‘It’s just a game’
Nancy Mramor, a psychologist with the University of Pittsburgh, sees similar roadblocks in her work.
“A lot of the thinking is related to things people can’t do because they don’t have that kind of money,” said Mramor, who specializes in media coverage of big events.
“With the Powerball, they’d pay off their kids’ mortgages, travel to exotic places, pay off their own student loans. They think, ‘It would just make my life so much easier.’ ”
Like Green, she works with clients to reframe the question:
“What would you do to be happy and to feel fulfilled if you didn’t win the lottery? What do you want to be remembered for? Then pursue those goals.
“Not everybody is going to win the lottery,” she added.
Besides, there are lots of downsides to being that rich. Your island likely doesn’t have Wi-Fi, or a Chipotle.
And as hard as it is to buy this, the majority of big winners will tell you that the windfall was the biggest disaster of their lives. They became rudderless. They were hounded by former friends and strangers wanting a piece of them. Most lost it all.
Even lottery officials urge caution.
“Players should never spend more than they can afford on any lottery ticket,” they said last week. “Please remember, it’s just a game.”
Little moments of happiness, easily accessible, are the real ticket, Mramor said.